I had never heard of this before until last week when I read about in this book “Tired as f*ck”. I was admired because I resonated with her like I did with your books. I don’t have advice on how to manage this because I was so stuck in burnt out and survival mode I hadn’t known I was experiencing shame. Upon reflecting, I realized I spent my earlier twenties feeling that dreadful feeling of “shame”. Most my friends were working toward a career and I wound up getting pregnant at 22 instead. It was a blessing in disguise, but that’s when I felt it most.
I started feeling that way again as I approach 30, and I grounded myself by remembering how far I HAVE come, and what I do have, that others may be dying to have themselves.
Yes, and it's not blowing smoke. It's all about seeing REALITY. Not just the slim sliver where we are "bad" or "insufficient" in some way. Thanks for sharing your story. I can imagine how it felt at 22. I had something similar but more feeling like an alien because I had a different kind of family - I didn't tell anyone about it until Lilies. Sending you love and so grateful you're here.
The last piece to my comment was that I was too busy to notice I was even experiencing “shame,” and by busy I mean I was drowning in a life I had no idea how to live. I grew up feeling lonely and unworthy, and it was not until I discovered you and your book, that I too, had no idea I had lived a trauma filled life growing up. I’ve read them both many times because without your book, I wouldn’t have started to heal. 😘🙌🏼
Love this! Whenever I'm feeling shame or beating myself up for not having it all together, I try to remind myself to focus on the PM (present moment). By getting myself back into the present moment, I feel sane again. Once I feel sane again, I list ten things I am proud of myself for and/or have accomplished. This always lifts me back up into an empowered place. When it comes to dealing with anxiety about the unknown, I really try to look at it as an exciting thing! Wouldn't it be boring if we had everything figured out and knew how everything would play out in the future? This leaves room for surprise... and I can get down with that.
Thank you for another fantastic read. Anne Lamott is a rock star and that Julia podcast you recommended, I’ve also been pushing on my friends. The playlist is top notch. Added to my rotation of music! If you ever find yourself with the chance to see Khruangbin live, so worth it! Coming to Chicago the week of my birthday, count me in for the chance to say hi in person and get a book or two autographed!
I had never heard of this before until last week when I read about in this book “Tired as f*ck”. I was admired because I resonated with her like I did with your books. I don’t have advice on how to manage this because I was so stuck in burnt out and survival mode I hadn’t known I was experiencing shame. Upon reflecting, I realized I spent my earlier twenties feeling that dreadful feeling of “shame”. Most my friends were working toward a career and I wound up getting pregnant at 22 instead. It was a blessing in disguise, but that’s when I felt it most.
I started feeling that way again as I approach 30, and I grounded myself by remembering how far I HAVE come, and what I do have, that others may be dying to have themselves.
Yes, and it's not blowing smoke. It's all about seeing REALITY. Not just the slim sliver where we are "bad" or "insufficient" in some way. Thanks for sharing your story. I can imagine how it felt at 22. I had something similar but more feeling like an alien because I had a different kind of family - I didn't tell anyone about it until Lilies. Sending you love and so grateful you're here.
The last piece to my comment was that I was too busy to notice I was even experiencing “shame,” and by busy I mean I was drowning in a life I had no idea how to live. I grew up feeling lonely and unworthy, and it was not until I discovered you and your book, that I too, had no idea I had lived a trauma filled life growing up. I’ve read them both many times because without your book, I wouldn’t have started to heal. 😘🙌🏼
Wow, thank you Brooke for reflecting this back to me. And I'm so grateful we found one another!
Me too, beyond grateful. I really believe things happen for a reason, even if it can’t be found at that moment.
I filled out your form about Chicago, I’d be honored to join. 🥰
Love this! Whenever I'm feeling shame or beating myself up for not having it all together, I try to remind myself to focus on the PM (present moment). By getting myself back into the present moment, I feel sane again. Once I feel sane again, I list ten things I am proud of myself for and/or have accomplished. This always lifts me back up into an empowered place. When it comes to dealing with anxiety about the unknown, I really try to look at it as an exciting thing! Wouldn't it be boring if we had everything figured out and knew how everything would play out in the future? This leaves room for surprise... and I can get down with that.
This is EXCELLENT advice and something I'm going to try to practice more - coming back to the present moment - really really excellent thought!
Thank you for another fantastic read. Anne Lamott is a rock star and that Julia podcast you recommended, I’ve also been pushing on my friends. The playlist is top notch. Added to my rotation of music! If you ever find yourself with the chance to see Khruangbin live, so worth it! Coming to Chicago the week of my birthday, count me in for the chance to say hi in person and get a book or two autographed!