Dear shining star Tara - it’s him not you. Keep being your wonderful self and a partner will appear. In the meantime keep growing your circle….someone will have a brother or son who loves you as you deserve to be loved. Xoxo
Hi T$, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this pain and appreciate your authenticity and wisdom in all the raw humanness <3 I'm still experiencing trust issues from a similar break up at new year where the person did a complete 180 and gave no opportunity for an open discussion or to work on things. Despite telling myself I don't need that lack of communication in my life (and neither do you!), I'm a complete perfectionist and can see now how totally triggering it all was for my inner critic and inner child! It's not about who is to blame but you're so right, we're all works in progress and deserve someone who acknowledges that. Sending love and hugs xx
I send you love and hugs too. It's really shown me why perfectionism is such a problem and why when we think like that, we hurt ourselves the most. Thanks for being here.
Oh dear Tara, I am just sending you oceans of love. It's a commonplace to say something like Their loss and I pity the fool! but OMFG the magnitude of his loss. Because you are stardust and a pretty fine grade of it at that. You have made a big difference in my life and also in my clients' lives and I am so full of appreciation for you. <3 <3 <3
Thank you for this. It showed up in my inbox at a time when I really needed your words. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you for being you and sharing yourself with us. ❤️
I am so grateful I came across this post. A few months ago I went through quite a similar break up. On my birthday. After a super happy vacation. After he offered me to move in and made the copy of keys to his flat. After he said he loved me. And then a sudden cruel break up. He erased me from his life completely blocking me everywhere without any chance to talk I became non existent. To him. And the worst - to myself. I collapsed. it felt like a real nuclear explosion inside me. And I didn’t cope
Mentally. I fell into a deep long depression. It is bit better now. And the wisdom you are sharing is very supportive and warm. The mistake I was making for months after the break up - I was the most cruel person to myself , the most judgemental. And you remind me in your last posts about my own value, about gentleness to oneself. We are stardust. It is so cool to keep in mind.
I am so happy to find you. And so grateful for your sincerity, openness, for being you , so real , warm, gentle and strong at the same time. . Your words feel like a warm blanket I want to wrap myself in. Sending you a big warm hug of support and gratitude 🙏
AW! Olga! THIS IS SO KIND! You just wrapped *me* in a warm blanket of your love. Thank you for your note and thanks for being here. And. F*ck that guy. These are his issues, not yours. Xo, T$
Something I think about nearly daily: “Nothing is personal and people are limited.” (Written by YOU!!!)
This cruelty is 100% about him and his garbage basement that he isn’t dealing with. Your quote got me through my last breakup, where we went from talking about where we wanted to build our dream house to him leaving me at the airport without keys to my house or my car. Sometimes people, men especially, will treat someone terribly if they don’t live up to their definition of perfection.
You are worthy. You are deserving. You got this. We love you 💗
How much of a brilliant badass are you - at a time when most of us would be giant teary snot-bubbles on our sofas, you choose to send all of this loveliness into the world?? Also on a purely selfish level I’ve been struggling with self-love this week (my inner critic is digging her heels in) and I can’t fully believe the good things. “I am good and trying my best” is the perfect starting point to try again! I just wish it hadn’t come from heartbreak.
I have read both of your books, I follow you on social media and I subscribed to the light version of your newsletter. The main reason I decided to upgrade to the paid version rather impulsively was this article. (I’m not a superstitious person, but every now and then I do believe in “signs”)
I’m not going to bother you with personal details, because I am a stranger from Germany who just happens to love your content BUT something very similar happened to me last year:
A person I was seeing for 4 months dumped me rather unexpectedly right before our first trip together and while I was still recovering from a bad Covid infection. Well actually he didn’t dump me, but he ghosted me after I told him I was having a rough time and after I confronted him in a phone call he finally explained that he was a rather „fun loving“ and „easy going“ person and I was at times an anxious overthinker and it’s just not what he wants in life.
Long story short: I got over him very fast because he treated me so badly. But what I am still struggling with is the trauma that people just decide to leave you because you are not always the best version of you. (I haven’t been dating ever since and it’s been a year)
I am much more than a bad day (or rather short depressive episode) and I am trying my best to become a better person for myself and the people around me.
If I can pick up the pieces and move on from this experience, so can everybody else. And also thanks to the content you have produced the last years I feel less alone and I will be forever thankful for this. Keep on shining and glowing and please consider coming to Germany for your book soon <3
You brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for joining and sharing your story. What you went through I know to be awful. I just keep reminding myself that the way this person treated me is not about me. It's about him and he's going to have a very hard time finding better than me :) Thank you for becoming a paid subscriber. I take this work really seriously and your support sustains my damn soul! xoxo
If my younger self only knew how much these painful episodes were FOR MY BENEFIT, I think it would have been so much less painful. Alas, I didn’t know. And it SUCKED. And after experiencing it more times than I could count, I finally saw how I could use every painful episode to learn and grow. I saw how ultimately I had called in folks who would help me learn the things I still needed to learn in order to love myself so unconditionally that being with anyone who loved me any less than that was unacceptable. I am still working on that self love every damned day, and likely will be for the rest of my life. And, I finally met someone who recognizes my stardust and helps me continue to grow. We are both messy and focused on our individual, and each others’ growth. Your person is out there. They are calling you in right now, just as you are calling them. Stay focused on LOVING YOURSELF FIRST (always!), and you will never be alone.
(T$, pretend this is voicemail you don't dread opening)
Hi, I just wanted to say that I think you're doing a great job and that I'd like to hold you in my arms right about now. Which probably means I want you to hold me in yours.
What about trees??? No tree is ever standing there like, “I wish I were something else! More bush-like, more shiny, more soft!” Nah. They’re just trees. Totally cool with their essential tree-ness. They do exactly what they’re made to do, and don’t GAF about being perfect or something else... So badass. We can learn so much from them.
Thank you very much, Tara; your kind words and open heart are truly motivating. I'm a comic artist, drawing surely something not will change comic history (Zombies, Big t1ts, unfairy fairy tales...)... but I'm broken, in the last months I'm facing a huge problem that I can't tell about and I feel like a sad clown that must perform even if I'd like to spend all my time crying and reading books in front of the sea... However, I "must go on", I must do my best—possibly even better—because I have no other choice...
Ugh, I know how hard that must be, to be the sad clown. I'm thinking of you my friend. And know that you don't have to pretend with me. You can say whatever you need to say here.
Thank you once more, Tara...Another "funny fact" about the "sad clown syndrome" is that sometimes people who are meant to be close old friends don't comprehend the monsters you're living with, and a nice and delicate person like you on the internet can say something that is a big tiny comfort... Thank you again, have a nice day and obviously I hope you'll find someone to match your soul! Maybe that sometimes I'll back here, so happy that it's a place where I can be without ...a mask! :)
Dear shining star Tara - it’s him not you. Keep being your wonderful self and a partner will appear. In the meantime keep growing your circle….someone will have a brother or son who loves you as you deserve to be loved. Xoxo
Thank you, Pamela. Speaking of which - do you have a brother or son?! Hahaha, I kid, I kid but....not kid?
Well actually I do….32 year old….let’s meet up!
Hi T$, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this pain and appreciate your authenticity and wisdom in all the raw humanness <3 I'm still experiencing trust issues from a similar break up at new year where the person did a complete 180 and gave no opportunity for an open discussion or to work on things. Despite telling myself I don't need that lack of communication in my life (and neither do you!), I'm a complete perfectionist and can see now how totally triggering it all was for my inner critic and inner child! It's not about who is to blame but you're so right, we're all works in progress and deserve someone who acknowledges that. Sending love and hugs xx
I send you love and hugs too. It's really shown me why perfectionism is such a problem and why when we think like that, we hurt ourselves the most. Thanks for being here.
You deserve someone that is going to embrace all of your humanity in its gorgeous imperfection. Im so sorry you had to experience that.
Thanks, Jenovia. And I love that you have become such a fixture here. Always love to see your name.
Oh dear Tara, I am just sending you oceans of love. It's a commonplace to say something like Their loss and I pity the fool! but OMFG the magnitude of his loss. Because you are stardust and a pretty fine grade of it at that. You have made a big difference in my life and also in my clients' lives and I am so full of appreciation for you. <3 <3 <3
Thank you my darling, this is truly really helpful. Having my community rally to my side. Thank you, truly.
Thank you for this. It showed up in my inbox at a time when I really needed your words. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you for being you and sharing yourself with us. ❤️
Thank you for being here Lindsay. Without you I have no one to share with :)
Dear Tara!
I am so grateful I came across this post. A few months ago I went through quite a similar break up. On my birthday. After a super happy vacation. After he offered me to move in and made the copy of keys to his flat. After he said he loved me. And then a sudden cruel break up. He erased me from his life completely blocking me everywhere without any chance to talk I became non existent. To him. And the worst - to myself. I collapsed. it felt like a real nuclear explosion inside me. And I didn’t cope
Mentally. I fell into a deep long depression. It is bit better now. And the wisdom you are sharing is very supportive and warm. The mistake I was making for months after the break up - I was the most cruel person to myself , the most judgemental. And you remind me in your last posts about my own value, about gentleness to oneself. We are stardust. It is so cool to keep in mind.
I am so happy to find you. And so grateful for your sincerity, openness, for being you , so real , warm, gentle and strong at the same time. . Your words feel like a warm blanket I want to wrap myself in. Sending you a big warm hug of support and gratitude 🙏
AW! Olga! THIS IS SO KIND! You just wrapped *me* in a warm blanket of your love. Thank you for your note and thanks for being here. And. F*ck that guy. These are his issues, not yours. Xo, T$
Something I think about nearly daily: “Nothing is personal and people are limited.” (Written by YOU!!!)
This cruelty is 100% about him and his garbage basement that he isn’t dealing with. Your quote got me through my last breakup, where we went from talking about where we wanted to build our dream house to him leaving me at the airport without keys to my house or my car. Sometimes people, men especially, will treat someone terribly if they don’t live up to their definition of perfection.
You are worthy. You are deserving. You got this. We love you 💗
This is so kind, Sarah. Yes, I've realized this is his stuff, not mine. AND. If I had to be perfect to be loved...NEXT!
How much of a brilliant badass are you - at a time when most of us would be giant teary snot-bubbles on our sofas, you choose to send all of this loveliness into the world?? Also on a purely selfish level I’ve been struggling with self-love this week (my inner critic is digging her heels in) and I can’t fully believe the good things. “I am good and trying my best” is the perfect starting point to try again! I just wish it hadn’t come from heartbreak.
We love you an endless amount xxxx
I never even thought of that. Thank you showing me that part of myself. I feel your love!
Dear Tara,
I have read both of your books, I follow you on social media and I subscribed to the light version of your newsletter. The main reason I decided to upgrade to the paid version rather impulsively was this article. (I’m not a superstitious person, but every now and then I do believe in “signs”)
I’m not going to bother you with personal details, because I am a stranger from Germany who just happens to love your content BUT something very similar happened to me last year:
A person I was seeing for 4 months dumped me rather unexpectedly right before our first trip together and while I was still recovering from a bad Covid infection. Well actually he didn’t dump me, but he ghosted me after I told him I was having a rough time and after I confronted him in a phone call he finally explained that he was a rather „fun loving“ and „easy going“ person and I was at times an anxious overthinker and it’s just not what he wants in life.
Long story short: I got over him very fast because he treated me so badly. But what I am still struggling with is the trauma that people just decide to leave you because you are not always the best version of you. (I haven’t been dating ever since and it’s been a year)
I am much more than a bad day (or rather short depressive episode) and I am trying my best to become a better person for myself and the people around me.
If I can pick up the pieces and move on from this experience, so can everybody else. And also thanks to the content you have produced the last years I feel less alone and I will be forever thankful for this. Keep on shining and glowing and please consider coming to Germany for your book soon <3
You brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for joining and sharing your story. What you went through I know to be awful. I just keep reminding myself that the way this person treated me is not about me. It's about him and he's going to have a very hard time finding better than me :) Thank you for becoming a paid subscriber. I take this work really seriously and your support sustains my damn soul! xoxo
If my younger self only knew how much these painful episodes were FOR MY BENEFIT, I think it would have been so much less painful. Alas, I didn’t know. And it SUCKED. And after experiencing it more times than I could count, I finally saw how I could use every painful episode to learn and grow. I saw how ultimately I had called in folks who would help me learn the things I still needed to learn in order to love myself so unconditionally that being with anyone who loved me any less than that was unacceptable. I am still working on that self love every damned day, and likely will be for the rest of my life. And, I finally met someone who recognizes my stardust and helps me continue to grow. We are both messy and focused on our individual, and each others’ growth. Your person is out there. They are calling you in right now, just as you are calling them. Stay focused on LOVING YOURSELF FIRST (always!), and you will never be alone.
Stephanie, thank you for your kind, beautiful words. And I'm so happy you found someone who sees your stardust self!
(T$, pretend this is voicemail you don't dread opening)
Hi, I just wanted to say that I think you're doing a great job and that I'd like to hold you in my arms right about now. Which probably means I want you to hold me in yours.
xo,
Jack.
Jaaaaaaack. Do you want to make me cry? Haven't quite had myself quoted back to me like that before. Brought tears to my eyes. Thank you, friend.
You didn’t deserve that. Sending love and virtual hugs! Keep being you
Thanks, Lauren. And thank you for being here.
Let all the emotion out, and then be gentle with yourself!
Gentle is key I am finding! Thank you for being here!
What about trees??? No tree is ever standing there like, “I wish I were something else! More bush-like, more shiny, more soft!” Nah. They’re just trees. Totally cool with their essential tree-ness. They do exactly what they’re made to do, and don’t GAF about being perfect or something else... So badass. We can learn so much from them.
LOVE THIS!!!!! And you know how I feel about trees...
Thank you very much, Tara; your kind words and open heart are truly motivating. I'm a comic artist, drawing surely something not will change comic history (Zombies, Big t1ts, unfairy fairy tales...)... but I'm broken, in the last months I'm facing a huge problem that I can't tell about and I feel like a sad clown that must perform even if I'd like to spend all my time crying and reading books in front of the sea... However, I "must go on", I must do my best—possibly even better—because I have no other choice...
Ugh, I know how hard that must be, to be the sad clown. I'm thinking of you my friend. And know that you don't have to pretend with me. You can say whatever you need to say here.
Thank you once more, Tara...Another "funny fact" about the "sad clown syndrome" is that sometimes people who are meant to be close old friends don't comprehend the monsters you're living with, and a nice and delicate person like you on the internet can say something that is a big tiny comfort... Thank you again, have a nice day and obviously I hope you'll find someone to match your soul! Maybe that sometimes I'll back here, so happy that it's a place where I can be without ...a mask! :)
not a comment per se but I am happy I am receiving these now!
OH YAY! It finally works?!?!?!?! WAHOOO!