Why I Don’t Recommend Moving and Finishing a Book in the Same Week
Notes from behind the pay-wall
Thank you SO F*CKING MUCH for your feedback on my personal note last Wednesday! I'm REALLY excited to be delivering you these little snapshots into my brain and what's really going on in my life. So this week: 2 wins and 1 over-function from my preparation to move to Northern Cali! I’d be SO INTERESTED to know 2 wins and one over function from you! Please tell me in the comments!
Win #1: I Realized I Needed to Gentle My Way Through A Hard Time
The week before the move was a petite disaster:
I have been working on my journal (to be published by Penguin Random House) for like…a year. A really, really, hard year. What made this journal so hard is that I am doing something that hasn’t been attempted before (or that I know of): I’m pulling together research from positive psychology, neuroscience, and different journaling techniques to create what I hope is THE BEST JOURNAL ever. That is my bar. And digesting, interpreting, and then making that research entertaining was almost impossible for me to do. Anyways, unexpectedly, the journal was sent back to me from the publisher for edits needed ASAP. So, I was asked to finish my book and move in the same week 🤮🤮🤮
I was hell-bent on pushing through because I was told that if I didn’t turn in the journal - I would risk its publication date being pushed out into a no-man's land. SO I decided that instead of seeing friends or celebrating or saying good-bye to LA I would just lock myself up in my apartment, limiting myself to only two activities: move or write. You know what this led to, right? A relaxed, reflective time A NIGHTMARE! I felt literal physical pressure around my temples and entered a multi-day headache where my brain legit hurt.
After a lot of pain - I had an “aha!” moment. In my coaching circle for over-achievers (where I offer custom life strategies for switching careers, getting over negative beliefs, dating, etc), if somebody came to me with this exact problem, I would tell them: "Why don't you practice gentling your way through this instead of doing what you always do, which is muscle your way through?"
I realized I needed to take my own advice and gentle my way through the week. But could I actually do it? I’m used to muscling, pushing, and—let’s be honest—beating myself up into all of my achievements.
Win #2: I Actually Did Gentle My Way Through
There's a huge difference between knowing you ought to do something one way and actually doing it that way. In this case, I walked the walk. I canceled meetings, took a long shower, took my panic attack medication (.25 mgs of clonazepam, I'm looking at you), and tried to relax for one night instead of making it another death march evening. I decided to get a massage because my jaw and head were killing me.
Did this slow down the move? Not really! I was in much better shape the rest of the time because I was taking care of myself.
It's so funny that when we're in our most overwhelmed states, we tend to let go of all our best rituals - the things that keep us grounded, resourced, and remind us life is worth living. The problem with this strategy is that it DOESN’T WORK. We become brittle, depleted, and have no life force at the exact moment we need our energy!
In the moments we “muscle our way” through life, we become our own vampires. Sucking our own blood dry and then wondering why we feel faint.
So ultimately, I’m proud that I tried to vampire myself at least less.
The Over-Function: Weird Packing Chaos
Even though I hired professional movers for Sunday, I have this weird compulsion where I always have to be doing something. So I ended up packing bits and pieces of each room simultaneously, which made the entire apartment a mess and left me feeling strangely unaccomplished. It was quite painful and I don't recommend it. Lol.
What Were Your Wins This Week? What about an over-function?
I'd love to hear from you. ALSO: is there anything you want to know about me or what’s going on in my life? It’s all fair game for my peeps. Which is you.
For me it’s recognizing that doing a 30 min workout is ok when you don’t have 60 min, it’s great even. In the past I would have either miserably shoehorned it into my day or slipped altogether (which also makes me miserable!). Gentle.
Moved last year after 11 years in one house and MAN - moving truly is one of the most challenging and stressful things! Kudos to you for getting through it while focusing on your journal. Speaking of which, is there a pre-order avail for the journal?!