Working two jobs just to stay afloat as an "educated professional" is killing me. I did everything I was supposed to. The heart ache that comes with the reality that everything we were told to do in our youth was filled with false promises is crushing.
It's really hard when we "did everything right" but it all feels somehow "wrong." Here is the good news: since we see this, we can change it. I KNOW it feels like we can't. Especially working two jobs. I'm not saying it's going to be easy - OMG I'M NOT SAYING THAT. But...we can make changes, little by little, together.
And I freaking love you 😭😭😭 I get it, I totally totally get it. We should talk about my "sticking." It's when you're climbing up ice, you throw your hook into the wall and get a good stick before ascending. That's how I look at jobs, always one hook keeping me in place while I take a "swing" with the other. It makes "security" feel less crushing and even freeing when we find our "swing." You inspired me to write!!! oh oh oh!
Worksheets my friend, worksheets! Bahahhaha we are straight A students. IT IS STRESSFUL. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME HOW STRESSFUL IT WOULD BE? And...we can get through it, together, little by little.
Recently diagnosed with colitis. Giving up dairy, gluten, processed foods, nuts, seeds, uncooked veggies and citrus fruits. Oh and NO caffeine or coffee! Or fizzy drinks! That’s what I am supposed to do. 1 week in and I was down 10 pounds and hated my life. It sucked all the dopamine away. So Im trying to find a balance. Because who the H can function without coffee? Send help. Or a food manual. Because bananas are getting really old 😆
Mandy!!!! You are a good writer :) Made me lol. AND cry inside. I know, it's like LEAVE ME ONE VICE. And COFFEE ISN'T EVEN A VICE!!!!!! One thing I thought about after I wrote this piece is we've become so concerned with not dying that we are barely living. Like, truly, what is the point of that? Aristotle (sorry to bring him up) would say we need a "golden mean" - like a midway btwn NO GLUTEN EVER and I am enjoying the food I eat. More to come, glad you're here :)
Oh Tara. You climbed into my head with this one. Last year during my ‘Diary of a CEO’ phase I happened to catch the menopause panel.
Honest, I felt like these people were yelling at me (they weren’t) but all I heard were ‘here are more rules for you to run your life’ and that was the literal end of my lengthy attempts at ‘optimisation’
I suddenly realised I didn’t want to live like that at all. I hate hill running. Most kinds of running. I now hate diet rules and anything on the internet that tells me a certain type of food is wrong. I love walking though. I live for seeing sunrises on icy mornings but not for ice baths.
I also hate most fruit. I know, it’s weird but it hurts my stomach if I eat more than just a bit. But I love chocolate. No diet I have ever been on ever made me feel good. Limiting calories made me anxious and bitchy. Cutting carbs did the same. I never felt safe just like I was always one step away from failing.
What’s wrong with being who we actually are? A question I’m curious about, especially when I see this type of optimiser content. People who aren’t robots or live forever but actually just manage to be fully human.
I love, love, love this, Kira! You brought a little tear to my eye because 1) I am the most easily moved to tears person I know and MORE IMPORTANTLY - 2) your writing is so f*cking sincere and you're nailing it.
Being human is not being fully optimized. I hate to say this...but being human does include dying...I want to put that off AS FAR AS F*CKING POSSIBLE (I'd love to get to 120!) but when I deny key aspects of my humanity...like...natural life cycles and the fact that I GET TO ENJOY THINGS - I don't need to be a robot...what am I even doing? The fountain of youth is the longest running myth we have and it is just that - a myth.
Hi Tara! Firstly, as I type this on my computer I can see the new "the good life" logo and I absolutely love it ◡̈
I'm really appreciative of your openness and vulnerability in what you share. Reading this, just even hearing you say you don't always enjoy your life currently, took so much weight off my chest and felt like a big de-shaming. It made me realize how hard I am on myself for the fact that I also don't enjoy every aspect of my life even as I work towards better.
As far as "optimizing" - I literally live with no routine haha so I am the complete opposite of that societal culture. I think everyone would be so much healthier (in all the aspects, mind/body/soul) if they followed what felt good/right for THEM rather than what other people are screaming at you to do for the "perfect" life. Obviously sometimes we have to push ourselves a little to do the things that actually make us feel good (I love yoga and reading but I still have to give myself a nudge to do it, for example) but literally everyone is different so I hate whatever this optimization is 😅
To answer your question/prompt - for me I think it's more all of the things that our society has invented as "normal" that actually quietly drain my soul. For example I notice I get sucked into celebrity news- the articles/videos/etc. I feel like it's completely normalized in our society but it actually makes me depressed. So I am leaving that behind now so I can actually enjoy my life!! There's a lot of things like that for me so it'll take a while but I know I can do it ◡̈
Also about the guy you referenced- my entire being has an emotional reaction (usually anger!) every time I feel like humans are trying to beat nature like "not dying." I feel like people are trying to do that with AI too. Beat nature. Nature is always going to win. I really believe that.
Thank you again Tara 🩷 I feel exhausted from being stuck in my own habits too that cause me suffering and just to know I'm not alone means the world to me.
Bailey!!! My love. You are nailing it, as per usual. I'm THRILLED you are feeling me on this one. Meaning - *I'M* glad not to be alone on this one.
Routines make me feel safe and give me room to be creative, but the extreme version makes me feel sick and guilty - SO SO SO guilty when I don't stick to my routines. So, as you say, it's all about finding what's right for US, indvidually.
And I GET IT with celebrity news. It makes me feel like I should have multiple homes and famous parents and and and and. I've unfollowed most accounts like that and am filling my feed with home design and art. That's something I'm trying to get more into so at least if I scroll there I'm going to learn or be inspired!
I'm even sad to realize it's 50%. Like...whoa. Until I sat there and thought about it - I didn't even know. AND!!! I'm thrilled to know because now I can do something about it. WE can do something about it if we're honest about where we actually are.
Breathwork. My body can't stand it. It makes my anxiety worst. Every guru I follow recommends it, but it's just not for me. I can do silent meditation, but breathwork only works when I'm actively doing something, not sitting still, which is not how it's supposed to work
Working two jobs just to stay afloat as an "educated professional" is killing me. I did everything I was supposed to. The heart ache that comes with the reality that everything we were told to do in our youth was filled with false promises is crushing.
It's really hard when we "did everything right" but it all feels somehow "wrong." Here is the good news: since we see this, we can change it. I KNOW it feels like we can't. Especially working two jobs. I'm not saying it's going to be easy - OMG I'M NOT SAYING THAT. But...we can make changes, little by little, together.
I freaking love you 💜
I don't know that it is life optimization, but the need for security and financial safety that comes from my job is not-so-secretly killing me.
And I freaking love you 😭😭😭 I get it, I totally totally get it. We should talk about my "sticking." It's when you're climbing up ice, you throw your hook into the wall and get a good stick before ascending. That's how I look at jobs, always one hook keeping me in place while I take a "swing" with the other. It makes "security" feel less crushing and even freeing when we find our "swing." You inspired me to write!!! oh oh oh!
I took a baby swing and told them (via email) "frankly, this isn't working for me anymore". AND I DIDN'T DIE!!!
We are definitely over optimizing as a society and I think it’s making us miserable.
preach!
Oooooooo! A worksheet! Gimme. Gimme.
Honestly, I'm exhausted trying to "savor" my good life because IT COULD END ANY MOMENT. This shit is stressful.
Worksheets my friend, worksheets! Bahahhaha we are straight A students. IT IS STRESSFUL. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME HOW STRESSFUL IT WOULD BE? And...we can get through it, together, little by little.
Recently diagnosed with colitis. Giving up dairy, gluten, processed foods, nuts, seeds, uncooked veggies and citrus fruits. Oh and NO caffeine or coffee! Or fizzy drinks! That’s what I am supposed to do. 1 week in and I was down 10 pounds and hated my life. It sucked all the dopamine away. So Im trying to find a balance. Because who the H can function without coffee? Send help. Or a food manual. Because bananas are getting really old 😆
Mandy!!!! You are a good writer :) Made me lol. AND cry inside. I know, it's like LEAVE ME ONE VICE. And COFFEE ISN'T EVEN A VICE!!!!!! One thing I thought about after I wrote this piece is we've become so concerned with not dying that we are barely living. Like, truly, what is the point of that? Aristotle (sorry to bring him up) would say we need a "golden mean" - like a midway btwn NO GLUTEN EVER and I am enjoying the food I eat. More to come, glad you're here :)
Oh Tara. You climbed into my head with this one. Last year during my ‘Diary of a CEO’ phase I happened to catch the menopause panel.
Honest, I felt like these people were yelling at me (they weren’t) but all I heard were ‘here are more rules for you to run your life’ and that was the literal end of my lengthy attempts at ‘optimisation’
I suddenly realised I didn’t want to live like that at all. I hate hill running. Most kinds of running. I now hate diet rules and anything on the internet that tells me a certain type of food is wrong. I love walking though. I live for seeing sunrises on icy mornings but not for ice baths.
I also hate most fruit. I know, it’s weird but it hurts my stomach if I eat more than just a bit. But I love chocolate. No diet I have ever been on ever made me feel good. Limiting calories made me anxious and bitchy. Cutting carbs did the same. I never felt safe just like I was always one step away from failing.
What’s wrong with being who we actually are? A question I’m curious about, especially when I see this type of optimiser content. People who aren’t robots or live forever but actually just manage to be fully human.
I love, love, love this, Kira! You brought a little tear to my eye because 1) I am the most easily moved to tears person I know and MORE IMPORTANTLY - 2) your writing is so f*cking sincere and you're nailing it.
Being human is not being fully optimized. I hate to say this...but being human does include dying...I want to put that off AS FAR AS F*CKING POSSIBLE (I'd love to get to 120!) but when I deny key aspects of my humanity...like...natural life cycles and the fact that I GET TO ENJOY THINGS - I don't need to be a robot...what am I even doing? The fountain of youth is the longest running myth we have and it is just that - a myth.
F*ck hill running. F*ck fruit. You do you, boo.
Side note--Wow has anybody else pointed out that this Bryan Johnson guy is basically an IRL Chris Traeger? That's what I was reminded of immediately!
Bahahahhaa nice call!
So excited for this new format!
Thanks, friend! Lmk how you like it as we go!
Hi Tara! Firstly, as I type this on my computer I can see the new "the good life" logo and I absolutely love it ◡̈
I'm really appreciative of your openness and vulnerability in what you share. Reading this, just even hearing you say you don't always enjoy your life currently, took so much weight off my chest and felt like a big de-shaming. It made me realize how hard I am on myself for the fact that I also don't enjoy every aspect of my life even as I work towards better.
As far as "optimizing" - I literally live with no routine haha so I am the complete opposite of that societal culture. I think everyone would be so much healthier (in all the aspects, mind/body/soul) if they followed what felt good/right for THEM rather than what other people are screaming at you to do for the "perfect" life. Obviously sometimes we have to push ourselves a little to do the things that actually make us feel good (I love yoga and reading but I still have to give myself a nudge to do it, for example) but literally everyone is different so I hate whatever this optimization is 😅
To answer your question/prompt - for me I think it's more all of the things that our society has invented as "normal" that actually quietly drain my soul. For example I notice I get sucked into celebrity news- the articles/videos/etc. I feel like it's completely normalized in our society but it actually makes me depressed. So I am leaving that behind now so I can actually enjoy my life!! There's a lot of things like that for me so it'll take a while but I know I can do it ◡̈
Also about the guy you referenced- my entire being has an emotional reaction (usually anger!) every time I feel like humans are trying to beat nature like "not dying." I feel like people are trying to do that with AI too. Beat nature. Nature is always going to win. I really believe that.
Thank you again Tara 🩷 I feel exhausted from being stuck in my own habits too that cause me suffering and just to know I'm not alone means the world to me.
Bailey!!! My love. You are nailing it, as per usual. I'm THRILLED you are feeling me on this one. Meaning - *I'M* glad not to be alone on this one.
Routines make me feel safe and give me room to be creative, but the extreme version makes me feel sick and guilty - SO SO SO guilty when I don't stick to my routines. So, as you say, it's all about finding what's right for US, indvidually.
And I GET IT with celebrity news. It makes me feel like I should have multiple homes and famous parents and and and and. I've unfollowed most accounts like that and am filling my feed with home design and art. That's something I'm trying to get more into so at least if I scroll there I'm going to learn or be inspired!
Anyways, as always grateful for you.
xo
T
Thank you for the honesty about 50%. Sometimes for me much less than that even tho I do have a “good life”
I'm even sad to realize it's 50%. Like...whoa. Until I sat there and thought about it - I didn't even know. AND!!! I'm thrilled to know because now I can do something about it. WE can do something about it if we're honest about where we actually are.
Breathwork. My body can't stand it. It makes my anxiety worst. Every guru I follow recommends it, but it's just not for me. I can do silent meditation, but breathwork only works when I'm actively doing something, not sitting still, which is not how it's supposed to work