Will your holidays suck?
That's (almost) entirely up to you, my dear!
A Little News:
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Will your holidays suck?
What a question! Well, neither you nor I know the answer to that because we aren’t fortune tellers (yet). But! I do know you have a lot more control than you think in creating a holiday season that you ENJOY or at the very least, don’t stumble your way through.
All we have to do is PREPARE.
It’s funny but I used to think one couldn’t prepare. I went into the holidays with a “well, I guess let’s see…” attitude. But after 35ish years of holidays under my belt – I actually can predict a lot of what will happen so I have the agency to choose differently! And the way I do that is by asking myself three questions:
1) What hasn’t worked for me in the past?
Have a cousin who always tries to get into a political argument? An aunt who diminishes your achievements? Is there one holiday that bums you out more than the others? For example, do you know being single on New Year’s Eve is going to suck if you don’t have a fun plan? Identify EXACTLY where your pain points are. I have MULTIPLE pain points for the record!
2) What can I do differently?
You can’t change other people but you can ABSOLUTELY change how you act. Can you decline to go to that one party you absolutely hate? Can you be asked to be seated on the other end of the table from your cousin? Can you have a pre-canned answer for when Aunt Sheila asks, “but, shouldn’t you be further along in your career, honey? Is that really a job?” Can you get on NYE right this second and make the most fun plan you can think of? If you can recognize patterns you can change them! Wahoo!
3) What do you LOVE about the holidays? Can you maximize the f*ck out of that?
Ex: Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday so this year, I plan on consciously being more present and remembering to take photos! How do I have NO photos of the same Thanksgiving I’ve been to all of my life?! Ex: this is year 12 of my sister and I going on a sister’s trip to Disneyland. EVERY YEAR we talk about staying at the Grand Californian and EVERY YEAR we cheap out. Let this be the year we just bite the bullet. We’ll never regret it!
My whole point is that, for most of us, if we’re real, we know exactly how the holidays are going to go. See! We are fortune tellers! So, instead of letting disappointments and conflicts surprise us, we can prepare. And for the truly amazing moments? We can make a more conscious effort to savor every minute of them.
I’m SO curious - how do you feel about the holidays coming up? Are you shocked like I am that it’s already November? And do you make plans like I do? And what holiday gives you the most trouble? I would really love to hear from you!
Omg Tara stay at the Grand Californian. I stayed with girlfriends one year and it was the absolute best night ever. The fireplace alone!!!
This year I am trying to decide whether to go to a particular Christmas party, where year after year, my uncle has to play out this hilarious joke where he shakes my hand and pretends he’s meeting me for the first time. Then, when I leave and offer a hug (my family are obligatory huggers upon both arrival and exit), he throws his hand out again for a shake, like I’m a stranger every year. It sounds like a silly problem, but we were close when I was a little kid. Now, I recognize that he doesn’t know how to interact with me as an adult, but the truth is that his love language doesn’t work for me and makes my inner child feel unwanted, like she grew up and suddenly became gross. One thing is for sure, I don’t want to cry driving home on Christmas this year! So thank you for the ideas on how to cope with these things. I promise to look out for myself if you do too. 🩵 Enjoy your Thanksgiving shenanigans!