Want to feel a little happier?
Gretchen Rubin is here to tell us how!
Seasons greetings to my newsletter family!
I hope you’re well and have some holiday plans you’re looking forward to (or at least aren’t dreading). I, for one, have decided to completely change the meaning of New Year’s Eve. Every year I’m anxious about it because I feel all these expectations to HAVE SO MUCH FUN, YOU GUYS! So instead of NYE being a party time, I’m using it as a time for renewal. Silent meditation retreat anyone?! That’s the direction I’m headed. Has anyone else changed the meaning of a holiday this year? Also: do you know a retreat I should go on? Joking but not joking. 🙃
One little quick thing: I’ll be signing/personalizing copies of Glow In the F*cking Dark and Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies for your gifting purposes! Order now through Sunday the 17th (I know the site says the 15th but they extended it) if you want in on this. I would be so thrilled to dedicate a copy to you or a loved one!
Also: THANK YOU to the incredible turnout for our Imposter Syndrome workshop! I hope it was useful to you. I’ll be sending the recording and resources to everyone shortly!
On with the newsletter!
Gretchen Rubin Helps Us Move Towards Happiness
This week I am THRILLED to have a special guest with us, none other than author, icon, thought leader, and friend, Gretchen Rubin!
I first met Gretchen at a conference when a mutual friend introduced us. I have to tell you - I was nervous. For the uninitiated, Gretchen is a massively successful author (she’s written FIVE New York Times best-sellers), podcaster, teacher, entrepreneur, and just…all of the things. Her break-out book, The Happiness Project, not only spent two years on the best-seller list, but it also created a movement for people to increase their happiness. And it’s worked. She has legit helped millions of people to lead happier lives.
That’s all impressive but do you know what I really love about Gretchen? She supports other women. When my friend introduced me to her at that conference, she could have just shrugged me off with a polite “nice to meet you,” before making a beeline to her hotel room. But instead, she took a moment to meet me and even made a date with me to talk about the business of writing books. She then gave me her contact info to stay in touch. Since then, whenever I’ve had a question or needed direction, she has always made me feel welcome to ask for advice and given me the feeling she’s rooting for me. It’s remarkable when you meet someone who you just know is in your corner, ya know? Especially when you admire them and they have very little to gain from helping you!
My goal is to support women who support women and I could not give a more full-throated endorsement of Gretchen both as a person and as an author. If this is starting to feel like a love letter, it kind of is!
Towards Feeling Happier with Gretchen Rubin
A little Q&A Time
Gretchen, are you for real, happy, happy? As in, is there any hope for the rest of us to actually find happiness, and if so, can you describe what happiness feels like?
Like anyone, I’m a mix of happy and not-so-happy! For me, I have to admit, I don’t think much about questions such as “What is happiness?” or “Am I truly happy?” I feel like I never know the answer. So instead, I ask myself, “If I take this step—go for a daily 20-minute walk, read more novels, get a dog—will it help me to become happier?” I think that’s a much easier way to think about making our lives happier—focusing on the direction we’re moving rather than a final destination.
For those of us who haven't read your book, could you tell us what inspired you to write The Happiness Project and what it's about?
One rainy afternoon, I was stuck on a city bus, so in the tumult of everyday life, I had a rare opportunity for reflection. I asked myself, “What do I want from life, anyway?” I thought, “I want to be happy”—yet I spent no time thinking about my happiness, whether it was possible to change your level of happiness, or what I personally might do to become happier. “I should have a happiness project,” I thought. I ran to the library the next day to get a giant stack of books about happiness.
At first, this project was just my personal undertaking, but the subject of happiness was so fascinating, and I wanted to try so many things, that I decided to write my happiness project as my next book—and it did turn into The Happiness Project. It’s the chronicle of the year I spent test-driving the lessons of contemporary science, ancient philosophy, pop culture, and anything else I could glean about how to be happier. I divided the year into twelve themes—such as Energy, Work, Marriage, Eternity—and did several concrete, manageable resolutions within each theme to see if I could make myself happier.
Spoiler alert: I did!
The Happiness Project came out fifteen years ago and the world has changed A LOT since then, is there anything in particular you're updating for 2024?
Yes! Because 2024 marks the fifteenth anniversary of The Happiness Project, I decided to do another happiness project—and in fact, I’m giving a one-year course, “The Happiness Project Revisited,” for anyone who wants to do their own happiness project with me. It’s so interesting to revisit the themes and to see what has changed in my life, and what hasn’t. I’ve learned a lot about happiness since my original project—with some conclusions, I believe them even more deeply (such as the importance of relationships to happiness) and with some conclusions, I’ve changed my mind (such as thinking that we can find a “best” way to approach happiness and good habits).
I’m really excited about this course. I created a terrific playbook to help you get ideas and track your progress—and then the playbook can serve as a keepsake of the experience. The course helps you customize your approach to your own life, because each of us is unique. And it’s audio-first, because I’ve found that many people prefer to listen to material while they’re on-the-go. With audio, it’s much easier to listen whenever works for you. People can learn more and sign up here.
What is one hot tip you could give us to be happier in 2024?
Do a happiness project for yourself! Of course, you don’t have to use the happiness-project format. I think a year-long happiness project is super-fun, but any exercise that helps you to identify what aims would make you happier in 2024, and the concrete, specific actions you’ll take to achieve those aims, is likely to boost your happiness. Research shows that we’re far likely to achieve a goal if we’re specific about what we’re doing to pursue it.
Let’s take Gretchen up on our own happiness projects! And I will for sure be taking her course. Take it with me?
Testify
Your questions, comments, triumphs, heartaches, adventures, and insights. All of it is welcome here. I love featuring your art, journals, and pictures of triumph! Please send ‘em along! (Submissions lightly edited for brevity.)
From last week’s post about my favorite things:
“People’s favorite things lists are one of my favorite things! Awesome post. I love the fact that you also spend your free time looking up the best products. That’s a research rabbit hole I fall down regularly...it’s my secret guilty pleasure…Please do more posts about your favorite things!” - Victoria G.
I’ve been meaning to post this since Thanksgiving! Last year Tammy L made me this incredible platter. It’s now my go-to for my annual apple tart. Thank you, Tammy! You’re a part of my traditions now!
That plate is amazing 🤩! The pastry looks great too. I love Gretchen's work and am intrigued by the idea of a workshop. I will be looking into it for sure!