The September Challenge

Are you in? I think you'll want to be...

Hello my friends!

How ya doing? Was anyone able to go inspiration hunting last week? What did you find? Tell me in the comments and inspire US ALL!

September is right around the corner (UGH! How? Why?) and if you’re anything like me, you see September as a time to reset, clean the decks, and organize your schedule and thoughts after the chaos of summer. It’s a time for spanking new back packs, Lisa Frank binders, and new habits.

And ya know what habit I like the most? It’s journaling. Duh. That’s why this September I’m going to take The Glow Getters (the paid tier of this newsletter) through a four week journaling challenge!

Mark your calendars for the September Challenge!

Glow Getters will get my ultimate guide to building a habit into your life (that you can apply anywhere) and an almost fool proof method to journaling I call “The Journaling Ritual.” AND! They are going to do it in Supportability Groups with other community members where they can make friends, pump each other up, and ultimately help one another to do the thing they say they want to do - journal.

It’s not too late to join the challenge - but you do need to upgrade to paid to be a part of it! I have spent a pretty weird amount of time on this and have even hired a community manager to make sure your subscription dollars give you a TON of value. So if you’ve been thinking about joining our journaling club (the Glow Getters), or starting, or reviving your journaling practice, now would be a great time!

But of course, no worries if that’s not interesting to you right now! I am still going to talk about some of the key concepts that I think everyone can benefit from right here…

Which brings me to…

The Difference between a Habit and a Ritual

SO yes. We all want habits, especially this time of year, and yet, how many of us fail at establishing them? SO MANY. In fact, when I say, “it’s time to build a habit,” don’t you kinda shudder with fear and resentment because if it were easy to do, or pleasurable, you’d already be doing it?!

Here’s something I never considered before: desire for a new habit is most often a response to pain or discomfort, not seeking pleasure or for fun. So, for example, we might feel the pain of overwhelming, ruminating thoughts and thus want a tool like journaling to relieve our stress. But it’s not like journaling seems awesome, enjoyable, and like a sweet treat, it just seems better than the alternative, ruminating on thoughts and pain. That’s why even thinking about a new habit tends to suck. We wouldn’t want to establish the habit unless we were already in a pretty desperate situation. Doesn’t that ring true for you? Don’t you usually want a habit because you want to avoid the discomfort of something else?

The reason we look at habits in particular for solutions to our pain is that a habit is something you do without thinking - it’s an automatic behavior. That sounds great, right? Who amongst us wouldn’t want to suddenly pick up journaling, running, or paying bills on the same day every month instead of always being behind and paying late fees only because you are so avoidant (I hope that’s just me)?

This is why habits are often doomed to fail. They are often a response to pain (not something we look forward to) and “succeeding” in a habit is totally contingent on making something you didn’t previously do, an integral part of your life.

Here’s what I’ve found: you can’t put a difficult goal before the process. You first have to build a ritual THEN the habit comes next. Here’s an example: going from, “I don’t work out,” to“I want to go to the gym every other day,” sets you up for failure because it over emphasizes the goal (which we know is going to be difficult) as opposed to the process of getting there. If instead you said, “I want to build a life where going to the gym is possible and even enjoyable, step-by-step,” you’d be in much better shape and you will build it into your life, baby-step by baby-step. Whereas a habit has a clear goal in sight, a ritual is a sequence of behaviors done frequently and intentionally. Every good habit I have comes from a ritual.

So when I “I journal,” I’m not just talking about the discrete action of writing. I’m talking about the entire, pleasurable, ritual: taking myself on a date to a stationary store to buy a journal and pen that I think are super chic, putting said journal and pen in eye sight the night before so I can’t avoid them, not drinking the night before and waking up at 6:40 am so I have enough time to journal, lighting a candle, creating a witchy brew of Nespresso espresso and toasted coconut and almond milk in my favorite mug, having my emotion wheel handy for my writing, ending the writing with a gratitude practice that makes me feel good, then meditating. That process is pretty freaking enjoyable but I didn’t come to it all at once. This took me months and even years to experiment with and find what really works for me. Only now, after baking journaling into the very process of my days can I say journaling is a habit that’s take very little effort. It took a lot of thinking, planning, and consideration to get to the habit which I have been able to keep for twelve years!

There are so many books, courses, and op-eds about habit building that offer quick solutions (build a habit in 66 days! buy this organizer! get an app!) but these methods are pretty much doomed to fail if they put the cart before the horse. So why make the ride to a habit hard on yourself? If you consider it like a ritual, you’ll be much better off.

This is one of my favorite topics to talk about in the world - habit building! And of course - journaling! I’d love to know what you think of my take? Agree? Disagree? Questions? I’m here for it all!

Testify:

This week, I thought I would share testimonials from folks who I have taken through the journaling process. You don’t have to trust me that my journaling method is fire, trust them!

“Through journaling with Tara my mindset has changed. I realized how powerful [journaling is]. It helps me to set my intention for life, the week, the day, everything…I feel more in control of my life and more at peace.” -Bertha M.

“I’m now journaling every damn morning which I thought I could never do.” -Aicca

“My journaling has gotten deeper, better, more consistent and purposeful. Basically, everything you want a journal practice!” -Dalisha

“In my journaling I’ve had so many AHA! moments, I’m honestly blown away. Patterns are starting to emerge that I’m finally able to take actionable steps to correct or improve.” -Staisha M.

Have your own success story to tell! Join The Glow Getters and I’ll take you through journaling meant to last.