The anti-perfection tool I swear by for 2025

Warning: may cause unexpected bouts of being yourself

Oh, hello my dear! 

A little bit of news: 

THE SURGERY WAS A SUCCESS AND I’M ALMOST BACK TO NORMAL! Thank you to everyone who reached out and all of your support. This was low-key one of the best experiences of my life. The doctors did an awesome job, I overcame a lot of medical trauma, and saw that my community wouldn’t forget about me! So…you were a part of my healing and I thank you for that 🙏

Onwards with le newsletter!

Take a 2024 Inventory

Here we are, staring down the end of another year, and I’ve got one burning question: WTF even happened THIS year? Seriously, where did the time go? How did it feel SO epically packed AND empty? And while we’re at it: what even is time? 

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent the last 12 months juggling the beautiful and the brutal, the mundane and the marvelous. Maybe you hit a major milestone, faced a loss, or, I don’t know, binge-watched six seasons of a show only to feel existential despair when it ended (The Sopranos, I’m still not over you). And now, as we approach the end of the year, I think it’s worth taking a beat to figure out what actually happened both so that we REMEMBER OUR TIME ON PLANET EARTH and the lessons we learned AND so that we can approach 2025 with intention. Here is exactly how I rewind the past year and next week I’ll show you how to plot for the future (mwah-hah-hah😈).

Part One:

Pull out your actual calendar that you used in actual real life and REMEMBER wtf even happened. NOTE: I keep EVERYTHING in my google cal - lunches, dates, coffees, when I go to Credo Beauty to return the new turmeric cleanser everyone/TikTok says is amazing but is in reality mediocre AT BEST…that way when I look back, I have a DETAILED view of my life. Including what cleanser NOT to buy. 

• On 12 (or less if you do a few months on a page) sheets of paper, label each month, and using your calendar, write down the most important things that happened and insights that you had

• For example: December of 2023

  • Dog sat “Piper” and learned that I don’t have a cold icy heart

  • Was stood up by the guy I was dating because he “accidentally” did mushrooms, didn’t call me to explain because he was “too high,” then did call and laughed to me about how “You of all people will find this story hilarious, at Shabbat my cousin accidentally gave me mushrooms and I was messed up for hours!” Too messed up to text me that he needed to cancel our plans? I in fact, didn’t find it hilarious that he wasted my time and didn’t get in touch and this was THE moment I decided that I deserved better than a guy who was “meh” about me and we had to break up no matter how much I WANTED it to work. 

  • I hosted a book event for Farnoosh Tobari (author of A Healthy State of Panic: Follow Your Fears to Build Wealth, Crush Your Career, and Win at Life - which is so good) and she gave me a Jo Malone candle and a gift card to Nordstrom as a thank you. I hadn’t expected a THING and her generosity inspired me to gift people better when they help me out. NOTE TO TARA: A year passed and you haven’t really done this - how will you bake this more into your life? 

  • And on and on….

As you look back at your year pull out the moments that:

• The Good: What are you proud of? What moments brought you joy? Maybe it was a small win, like finally sticking to your morning routine, or a big one, like deepening a relationship or getting through a tough situation.

• The Bad: Where did you struggle? Be honest about what felt heavy or hard. This isn’t about dwelling - it’s about acknowledging the weight you carried so you can start to set it down.

• The WTF: What completely blindsided you? What moments were so absurd, painful, or unexpected that you still can’t quite wrap your head around them? 

• The WTF That Turned Out AMAZING/Not Sucky: What moments went in a COMPLETELY different direction than you anticipated and taught you a valuable lesson? Maybe that we can’t predict the future? 

The goal here isn’t to “tie it all up in a bow” (though I DO enjoy a well placed bow in my hair). It’s to sit with your truth for a second, to feel it, and honor it before rushing into the next chapter. We’re not evaluating the past year - we just want to get real about what it even was. Next week we’ll work on what we WANT in 2025. Capice?

T$ Stamp of Approval:

Do you know if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel? Well, these are The Four Tendencies created by my brilliant friend

Gretchen Rubin

! By figuring out my habit tendency, I’ve been better able to build habits that last and that I don’t resist into my life. She’s so dang smart and good at creating ways to make habits stick and increase our happiness that I trust anything she is putting out into the universe. 

Speaking of which…If you want 2025 to be your happiest year yet (and who doesn’t?!) her new "Habits for Happiness" course is the perfect place to start. Launching this January, the course gives you the tools to finally make those joyful habits stick - whether it’s daily movement, building deeper connections, or nailing that elusive morning routine. With personalized support from Gretchen and her team, you’ll create 1-3 habits that actually work for you.

As part of my community (I see you, fam!) you will get an exclusive 35% discount with code HABITSTARA35. Head to her website and let’s make 2025 the year we turn good intentions into real, lasting change. ALSO: Is it weird that I’m feeling like a “real adult” because my name is in a discount code? 

Glow Getter of The Week: 

Every week I feature one member of “The Glow Getters” my paid, “inner-circle” community. Think of it as my tree house! Readers get journal prompts, supportability groups, and much more! 

Let’s meet our Glow Getter, Steph.

hey, steph! you’re so cool.

How did you find A Little Thing That Helps?

I don’t remember exactly how I found the Substack. Fate? True love? Kismet? A twist of destiny or cosmic force? Somehow, Tara’s audiobooks made their way into my ears, and I searched high and low for more of that real, authentic content that spoke to my heart and soul. She linked to it, and that was it! I’m pretty sure a journal challenge of some sort caught my competitive attention, and the Substack hasn’t let me go since.

What is your favorite part about being a Glow Getter?

It’s been over a year now, and it’s honestly hard to remember life without the positive effects of being part of this community. There’s a comforting freedom in participating at my own pace, in showing up fully as my true self in a group of like-minded virtual strangers. I am a Glow Getter. Even just saying that — telling myself over and over that I’m motivated, that I’m going after the spark that makes me feel most alive — has created a seismic shift in my life. Not in a corny, toxically positive way, but in a way that feels more realistic and true to myself; it takes manageable baby steps to make dramatic, long-term changes. Journaling has gently but firmly shifted my perspective, helping me see the GOOD and BEAUTIFUL things happening in my life. The newsletter keeps that momentum going. I truly believe that being a Glow Getter is giving me more tools to grow, heal, and LOVE myself in ways I didn’t even know I needed.

Testimonials:

Your wins, trials, tribulations, and thoughts. It’s all welcome here. I would love to hear what resonates with you from this week’s newsletter, and what didn’t!

“Just finished Glow! OMG! You did it again! I've never felt more seen and validated by someone I've never met. Thank you!” - Nicole

“Your book has made me feel less alone. Imposter syndrome had started to set in, and so I went to find solace and inspiration at a book store. I found Buy Yourself The F*cking Lilies by accident. Or maybe it found me. It has reignited the fire I need to continue my project. When I finish it, could I send you a copy? Thank you so much... you've done more than you realize through your writing.” - Aline

Preview of This Week’s Glow Getters:

This week’s journal prompts are focused on Holiday Imposter Syndrome. Curious to learn more? Consider this your chance to subscribe! Let’s make 2025 our best year yet.