Someone is Out to Get Meghan Markle

what I see as a TV exec of 12 years

Hello my darling, dearest, friend,

I know you probably came here for the latest and greatest in simple yet effective self-care (with a DASH of humor) but did you know I low-key LOVE pop-culture and was a television executive for twelve years? And that I can’t escape watching TV like an executive? For example, when something is funny in Ali Wong’s new special, I don’t laugh, instead, I say, dead pan, in my mind, “That was funny.”

For most of my career, I was paid to give creative people notes about their work which is just about as annoying as it sounds. Why was I allowed to give Key & Peele notes? NO clue, but their Emmy and Peabody wins tell me I didn’t damage them at least! And so, my TV Exec brain was on while watching Meghan Markle’s new show, With Love, Meghan, and the voices in my brain were SO loud that I had to share them with you in this BONUS newsletter.

This isn’t about tearing someone down just for the sake of it. I don’t want to be one more voice in the Meghan pile-on. If anything, I actually want her to succeed! I want her to have the kind of team that makes her shine, the way all great TV personalities do. Because when the right people are in your corner, they can take talent, charisma, and good intentions and turn them into something truly compelling. Right now? That’s not happening. After dissecting the series I have come to this conclusion:

Many people are out to get Meghan (or they are too lazy or too scared of offending her to do a good job).

I hope this dissection also shows you something about how TV is made!

1. No one has decided what this show is.

   The job of Executive Producers and television execs is to make sure the reason the show exists is clear and the show knows what it wants to do. This show, however, has no idea what it wants to do. THE BIGGEST TELL is that the establishing shot of the entire show is of bees. Yes, bees. We are dealing with one of the most FAMOUS AND BEAUTIFUL women in the world and the show starts on bees and then cuts to a random production person in a hazmat suit? WAIT, WHAT?! The first 45 seconds in any show are CRUCIAL, they should either set something up or draw you in - ideally those seconds should do both! But this is some random bee fever dream.

   Who’s To Blame: the executive producers, show runner, Netflix, any one with any amount of rationality who looked at this open.

2. This show is not personal to Meghan. We don’t learn anything about her.

   THE BIGGEST TELL: they don’t even film the show in her house. I mean - !!!! Imagine the Kardashians without their beige mansions, Lisa Vanderpump without Villa Rosa, or the Osborne’s without their fish out of water, Beverly Hills mansion…there is a reason ALL of these famous people shoot in their own homes - you have to if the whole idea is you are letting people into your life. Instead, we get some complicated story about how she’s using someone else’s house as a set? Like…wha? And you might say, “But because of security reasons, it had to be shot somewhere else.” Well, to that I say, “Then she shouldn’t do this kind of show AT ALL, that’s what a mistake this is.”

   Who’s To Blame: everyone, this just doesn’t make ANY amount of sense.

3. Meghan comes off as boring.

   Isn’t she an actually interesting, curious, and smart woman? Doesn’t she work on tons of serious, seriously cool initiatives? You wouldn’t know it by watching this. In episode 1, we watch her essentially learn how to make candles out of a kit, which sounds about as entertaining as it is! NOT AT ALL. Different story if she was a CANDLE EXPERT! If she had a passion for candles and taught us something about it - BLESS! Same with the f*cking bees. Is Meghan well-known for bees? Does she have some special heart-felt story she’s going to tell us about? A passion? A love? Nope. It’s just something random that she sometimes does but doesn’t know a ton about. It is VERY, VERY hard to build a personality show (like late night tv or a life-style show) when the person at the center doesn’t display passion or give a reason WHY they are doing this show. Oprah: passionate about curating the best in thoughts and spirituality to make our lives better. Jon Stewart: passionate about calling out the BS in politics so we can seem more clearly. Jimmy Fallon: passionate about harmless fun and wants to bring it to you. What can you say Meghan is passionate about from watching this show? Beige?

   Who’s To Blame: the show runner should be put in jail.

4. Someone is doing Meghan dirty in the production.

   There is nothing natural about TV, ESPECIALLY reality TV. They basically record one gajillion hours of footage and then make a story out of it. They MAKE you look good or bad. So this begs the question: is someone out to get her? Why else include a CRINGE inducing moment when Meghan interrupts Mindy Kaling and says that her last name is “Sussex” not Markle. Many have criticized Meghan saying that’s not her last name either - and I could give a f*ck about that. Meghan could say her last name was Schuster and I would just say, “Yes, please.” SHE decides her own name. It’s just the way Meghan interrupts and acts just slightly superior that’s the problem here. Footage is not from heaven sent, you DON’T USE THE PARTS THAT MAKE THE STAR LOOK BAD!

   Who’s To Blame: the editors and the show runner (who I assume is in jail now).

Honestly, since the Oprah interview, anytime I see Meghan Markle publicity I want to scream, “What is wrong with her team?” Because “yes, of course” all of this is her responsibility, but in my experience working with very, very famous people, they are insecure, prone to desperate decisions, just want to be liked but are terrified to show their true colors and they only really “pop” when they have STRATEGIC, honest people around them.

I bet Meghan Markle is that one annoying-yet-beautiful, super-earnest friend from yoga. You know the one - she really means what she says, she probably drinks Moon Juice unironically, and, of course, she dated a prince. Sometimes, she even squints her eyes just a little extra to show you how much she really cares. And I bet it’s 100% real for her! But unfortunately, it just doesn’t translate here.

I bet if we met her, we’d love her. She’s a great actress, I’m positive a good person, and I WOULD like her to make me that spaghetti, please and thank you. But is she an amazing TV personality? So far, the track record says no. And that’s okay! Most of what we think of as celebrity is really just a random assemblage of tape, hope, and hair extensions. Someone like Gwyneth Paltrow built her empire online first, took all the criticism (thank you, patriarchy), and by the time she had a Goop show, it actually worked.

Meghan needs better people around her. People who will be honest. People who will say, “Hey, maybe let’s not open with bees?”

Meghan, I know we can find you better people to have in your corner.

With Love, Tara.