A Little Bit of News:
Chicagooooo! Friendly reminder that I’m coming into town (for a family reunion, but that’s not the important part…) and teaching a WORKSHOP! The ticket price is just the price of a book to thank your local bookstore (Volumes) for hosting us! Meet me, hang out with new friends, support a small woman owned business - all in one fell swoop! Get your ticket here.
And now, A Little Thing That Helps…
Hello, fellow travelers!
To the people I’ve met IRL, to the people I WILL meet IRL, to the people who have been here since day one (yikes - I hope I didn’t embarrass myself) and the people who just stumbled here today, welcome.
I’ve had this Substack for a little over a year, so I thought it would be the perfect time to reintroduce who I am and the mission over here at A Little Thing That Helps.
The Backstory
I worked as an entertainment executive before becoming a mental health advocate and author. My two literary children are named Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies and Glow In the F*cking Dark. If you haven’t read either or both of them…my totally unbiased opinion is that you’re doing yourself a GRAVE disservice and you should probably stop reading right now and get both books immediately…just my unbiased opinion😝.
If you HAVE read my books, you know I grew up in a house where things came to die. FUN! Growing up neglected and psychologically abused gave me the lived experience that my life was a series of crises to be endured. And I stayed in that mindset until I hit rock bottom on my 25th birthday… nothing like drunk dialing your therapist threatening to hurt yourself to help put things into perspective!
The next morning, I decided I needed to become my own parent. I had to take what was given to me and see it as a jumping off point, not a lifelong sentence.
For five years I reparented myself by trying ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING to heal! I read memoirs like they were self-help. I hung onto the words of any adult who would give me time and followed their advice. I watched how the parents of my friends interacted with their children at Sunday dinners (no screaming…interesting…). I took NOTES on everything I tried and observed until I had a 600 page google document. And it worked! By golly - it worked!! I became STABLE. I was happy, laughing with friends, and establishing a true sense of self worth. And I can now say that I know I’m valuable - just for being me (I have tears in my eyes right now because I’m kind of shocked I believe this to be true). No amount of money, street cred, jewelry, handbags (tho Chanel is veryyyyy nice) can change that. My worth is based solely on the fact that I was born on planet earth and that all humans have inherent worth, no matter how badly we mess up, get lost, and especially no matter how much anyone else, or we, criticize ourselves.
But if you’re reading this, thinking “Cool, cool, cool, Tara. That’s great. But I didn’t have a terrible childhood and I didn’t really have trauma trauma, at least not compared to the girls who record Candy Salad Trauma Dump TikToks…” Let me pull up this paragraph from Lilies:
“I think there are a lot of us out there. People who didn’t have THE WORST CHILDHOODS EVER, people who had it ‘pretty good’ but nevertheless find themselves regularly crying in their cubicles at work. We’ve achieved the outward markers of a happy, lucky life, but underneath it all, we’re terrible at truly living. We walk around with overwhelming anxiety and emotional pain, and then we feel guilt and shame because ‘I didn’t have it that bad— I should be fine!’ My answer to you is No. You do not have to be fine. If you went through some shit, even if it was ‘minor,’ and it’s affecting your life, then you deserve to deal with that shit. Period.”
The whole point of my work (and this newsletter in particular) is to remind you of YOUR self worth and to give you practical tools to reclaim your life. This newsletter is:
For you.
On your way.
About to set the world on fire.
And as I conclude this ramble about self-worth, I want to drop the biggest, truth-iest knowledge bomb I have on ya: The story we tell ourselves about our lives is more important than what actually happened or will happen. Because you act out on what you believe to be true. SO! If you think you’re not enough, or that you’re not lovable, or that your professional success IS your life success, that’s how you’ll act and you’ll make all of those true. So! If you’ve found yourself at rock bottom, let me help you rewrite your life like I did. Let this community support you along the journey.
I want to hear from you! Please!
As always, I would love to hear from YOU - what brought you here? As I like to ask my best friend, Fisch, “How is NOW for you?” What’s going on in your life that we crossed paths? Let’s keep building up ourselves and this whole community. You make the world brighter, but together? We f*cking GLOW.
T$ Stamp of Approval:
This playlist I made, “Enjoy the Adventure”: I work out every day not to brag (tho I AM bragging) but because I feel slightly insane if I don’t. One of the things that makes this possible is a DOPE playlist. This is what I’m currently listening to.
This NYT Article: it discusses the difference between Kerri Strug and Simone Biles’s Olympic experiences - and how far we’ve come as a culture. Remember Kerri Strug?! I do!
A Little Something About The Glow Getters…
In addition to the community we’re building here with A Little Thing That Helps, I also have a paid newsletter that includes monthly challenges, giveaways, and interactive journal prompts! We’re about to dive into our August Challenge: Boring Girl Summer. Curious to know more? Upgrade to paid and join us here.
Hi Tara and everyone. I'm Amber. I'm currently listening through buy yourself the fucking lilies for the 2nd time. I'm a registered nurse who (as of yesterday) apparently developed a personality disorder due to the trauma of my childhood🙃 I've been struggling for a long time and I thought it was all in my head and I was crazy. I also worked ICU for 6 Years including during covid. I was forced to leave a job I loved bc I could
get my shit together. I couldn't stop myself from bawling at any turn. I'm still in the thick of my rock bottom and I want you to know that you're book and this platform have helped save my life. Just this past week I have had suicidal thoughts but it's like Lady God needed me to read this substack today. About reminding me that I'm worthy because I am human and I deserve all the kindness and compassion I give everyone else. Thank you for what you do. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. With all my love and appreciation💜
I wish I could share a photo here. I shared my last comment with my therapist. Tara, similar like you, I suffered a childhood of psychological trauma. It wasn’t until I read you first book that had got me thinking why I felt the way I did. I never even thought twice about my childhood prior. ❤️ Im so grateful for you and your writing.